Hurting

It's easier for you to walk away, than it is for you to reach out to me.
It's easier for you to look away, than it is for you to see the depth of my despair.
It's easier for you to look through me, than it is for you to see "me."
It's easier for you to distance yourself, than it is for you to really care.
It's easier for you to hear, than it is for you to listen.
It's easier for you to judge, than it is for you to understand.
It's easier for you to label, than it is to get acquainted.
It's easier for you to bask in your joy, than it is for you to feel my pain.
It's easier for you to bewilder at my mysteries, than it is for you to probe deeply into the depths of my soul.

It's easier for me to look away, than it is to let you see the feelings betrayed through my eyes.
It's easier for me to cry, than it is for me to talk.
It's easier for me to walk alone, than it is to risk rejection.
It's easier for me to push you away, than it is for me to be held.
It's easier for me to distance myself, than it is to trust that you won´t hurt me.
It's easier for me to die, than it is for me to face life's challenges.

It's hard for me to smile when I am hurting.
It's hard for me to talk when you won't understand.
It's hard for me to reach out when I need help the most.

If only you'd really look at me and see who I am.
If only you cared enough to reach out when I push you away.
If only you'd hold me, without asking why.
If only you'd acknowledge the validity of my feelings.

But it's the easy roads that are most often taken.
And so I hurt alone.

Chains That Bind

I am a hostage bound by myself, trapped in a mind all my own.
I'm locked in from the outside world and I've thrown away the only key; cannot figure out how to set myself free.
My wrists are bleeding out of control; the chains that bind them, created by my soul.
A prisoner I am kept, but have committed no crime; only my guilt and pain are forcing me to do time.
Once transparent, my eyes revealed it all; they've transformed themselves; blocking all that you once saw.
I peer through these windows at the world outside; I can see out but no one can see inside.
Please, help me escape from my sins.
I beg forgiveness and to live once again.

Paranoia

The night is my cover,
The day, my disguise,
But I just can't seem to escape,
From wondering,judgmental eyes.

They're always watching and waiting,
For that moment you turn your head,
It makes me feel uncomfortable,
While I'm lying in my bed.

I shouldn't leave my house,
Or maybe even my room,
Because they're lurking in every shadow,
Waiting to drop the bomb of doom.

I can't help but avert my eyes,
When I receive an unsteady glance,
They're judging me, I know it,
They'll make fun of me at every chance.

Did I do something wrong,
I don't have a doubt in my mind,
The truth is that in this world,
Sanity is so hard to find.

Watching Me Burn

You sit there watching me as I burn,
Why don't you help me?
You just sit there and watch me yearn.
But these aren't flames of fire,
These are flames of pain.
You sit there watching me burn as the blood drips down like rain.
The weight of my burdens it too much to bear.
I cry out in agony
But you 're still just sitting there.
I'm slowly disappearing,
And slowly fading away
But still you sit there watching me burn
You seem to have nothing to say.
As the tears finally swell up in my eyes,
I look at you and cry my last good byes,
But still you sit there watching me burn
Now with a smile upon your face.
You are happy now
Knowing that I'm about to disappear without a trace.

Prison Without Bars

You lie in bed,
you tremble and sweat.
It's your very existence
you've come to regret.

You knew the result,
you knew the stakes;
every joint hurts,
your whole body aches.

Your breathing is heavy,
you're coughing and wheezing,
your stomach's in a knot
and you feel like you're freezing.

You feel like you're dyeing,
your whole body is sore.
One thing is for sure:
You're a prisoner of war.

Your emotions run high,
the fear is so real.
You don't have enough strength,
not even to cry.

You have no money,
to cure this fit.
You have nothing to trade,
for just one more hit.

You need it so bad,
as you pray for another.
You'd do whatever it takes,
you'd even sell your mother.

It's taken control
over your useless life.
It plays many roles,
at times, it's even your wife.

It has no conscience,
it knows no ends.
It's made you give up on your family,
and turn your back on your friends.

It's the best friend
you've ever known.
It made you believe lies,
that your never alone.

The love left your heart,
there's no life in your eyes,
you lay here trembling,
this is your very own demise.

You made it an oath,
to always be true.
You're hopelessly addicted
to what it does for you.

So, here you are,
lying in bed,
dope had deserted you,
and left you for dead.

Your mind is aching,
you're seeing stars,
you're now held captive
in a prison without bars.

The saddest part is,
you know it won't end.
The very next day,
you'll do it again.

Come hail or snow,
sunshine or rain,
you'll find yourself once again
putting a hole in your vein.

With each new hit,
death comes on slow,
but the human part of you,
died long ago.

you used to get off on it,
it was such a blast;
but with every hit now,
you pray it's your last.

Your habit is hungry,
and it wants to be fed;
lying in agony,
you wish you were dead.

You were foretold in the future,
but you didn't heed it,
now, all you can do is wonder,
where's death when I need it?